The Voice of Fear

11 years ago on May 1st, I lost my mother to ovarian cancer. She had battled the disease for 3 years and died a few weeks after her 49th birthday. I remember my mother saying during her last few weeks of life that she had to get better because she still had a purpose to fulfill on this earth. When I heard these words, I remember saying in my heart:


“I don’t want to arrive at the end of my life believing I have yet to fulfill my God-given purpose. I want to be able to say with confidence that I have fulfilled it.”

But I’m not gonna lie to you. After my mother’s death, a spirit of fear attacked my mind. It said, “You are going to die young just like your mother with God’s purpose unfulfilled in your life.” I didn’t want to admit it but I had FOMO– the fear of missing out on God’s promises and purpose for my life.


Chasing Purpose

Because fear led me to believe I would die without my purpose being fulfilled I was driven to ‘make moves‘ that I thought would ensure I fulfilled what I perceived was my God-given purpose and destiny.


For example, At 35 years of age, I enrolled in graduate school while raising a twelve-year-old and 2-year old. I worked full time and served as a volunteer in my local church. I ran myself ragged trying to be the best student, wife, mother, employee, and volunteer I could be—all so I wouldn’t “miss out” on fulfilling what I thought was my purpose on earth. This chasing purpose caused my heart to be overwhelmed, my body to be exhausted, and my mind to be preoccupied and anxious.



My fear of missing out (FOMO) on God’s plans and purposes for my life was the fuel for my chase. Fear drove me to strive for more– more accomplishments, more achievements, and more opportunities. Fulfilling my purpose consumed my every thought. And with my efforts, initiative, and actions, I was determined to ensure God’s purposes, plans and promises would be fulfilled in my life.

Frozen in Fear

As I look back over my thirties (Radhika version 3.0), I’ve since learned I was chasing the wrong thing. I was chasing my purpose instead of chasing God’s presence. I was striving to achieve God’s promises instead of trusting I’ll receive His promises.


Because I allowed fear to drive my life, I didn’t believe God would make good on His Word—His promises. I believed God would fail me–just like I thought He failed my mother by not healing her. Fear had me:


  • Doubting God would really do what He said he would do which was to prosper me. Did he really care? Was He really faithful to perform?
  • Questioning if God really would fulfill His purposes, plans, and promises for my life. Was He really a GOOD God? Did He really have good things in store for me?


I wish I could tell you that I recognized the voice of fear and fought it immediately– but I didn’t. Ultimately, I allowed fear to deceive me into believing God couldn’t be trusted. Because, in my own eyes, I was convinced He failed me by not healing my mother. I thought He failed me because He let someone I loved—die. It was this traumatic life event and loss that opened the door for fear to step into my life. Because I thought God failed my mom, I believed He would fail me too.


Striving To Fulfill Your Purpose

And because of this false belief (that God had failed me), I decided to take matters into my own hands. I believed it was up to me to ensure God’s purposes would be fulfilled in my life. I truly believed my future would be determined by my own efforts, decisions, and actions. 


Therefore, I reasoned it was up to me to make the necessary calls, plays, and moves to make my goals and dreams a reality. This is what it means to take personal responsibility for my destiny—right? It’s up to me to ensure God’s purposes would be fulfilled in my life—right?


Because my FOMO caused me to doubt God’s goodness, divine providence, ways, and willingness to fulfill His plans, promises, and purposes for my life, I made a decision in my heart to control my own life and path. 


But it wasn’t until I acknowledged my pain, disappointment, and grief to God that I began to shift from a fear-based mindset to a faith-based mindset concerning my life, loss, purpose, and future. 


Turning Point

I can remember standing in my bathroom hearing God say to me:


“Do you truly trust me with your life and future? Do you really believe I can repurpose your pain, loss, and disappointment for good? Because if you trusted me, you would stop striving to get. You would instead be still and receive what I’m giving you. The problem is you don’t actually believe I have good things in store for you. And you don’t actually believe I will fulfill my plans and promises in your life. Will you stop operating out of fear and truly trust me to fulfill my promises and purposes in your life? “ 

Wow. It was at that moment I had a decision to make. Would I allow my life to be driven by FOMO? Or, would I allow my faith in God to direct my thoughts and life? So at that moment, I made a decision to live by faith and not by fear. I made a decision to chase His presence instead of His promises. And I made a decision to stop striving for what I wanted to achieve with my efforts and instead made a decision to surrender to what God wanted me to receive from His efforts. He is the author and finisher of my faith after all. And it’s His job to fulfill His promises and plans for my life. Not mine.


To discover how I choose faith over fear, click the button below.



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  • Interested in similar topics?  Be sure to check out Part 1 (Growth Mindset) and Part 2 (Abundance Mindset) and Part 3 (Negative Mindset) of the Mindset Reset Series
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Faith-Based Resources

Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer

Crash the Chatterbox by Steven Furtick

Detoxing Your Mind by Dr. Caroline Leaf -YouTube

Guide to Getting Unstuck

Guide for Living Unapologetically


Video Clip

God’s Promises will never fail. Steven Furtick



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