How to reframe life’s disappointments.

Disappointment. Not a feeling or emotional state any of us want to stay stuck in. Since I’ve been reading Lisa Terkerust’s book “It’s not supposed to be this way“, I’ve been THINKING a lot about my own disappointments in life.  And by disappointment, I’m mean a feeling of sadness or loss concerning an outcome that didn’t turn out the way I had expected, anticipated or hoped.

Life is Full of Disappointments

I’m sure you can look back over your life and recall some of your own disappointments. For me, I’ve experienced opportunity disappointment because I let fear stop me from saying YES to some great opportunities that had come my way.

I’ve experienced friendship disappointments because certain friendships did not turn out to be as supportive or as constant as I had expected. I’ve experienced career disappointment in that my “dream job” did not turn out to be my dream job after all. And I’ve experienced prayer disappointment because something I had prayed for, (my mother being healed of cancer) didn’t get answered the way I had expected.


It wasn’t supposed to be this way

There’s no doubt in my mind that you (like me) have said to yourself “This was NOT the way things were supposed to be.” But you know what? What I’ve personally discovered is


disappointment left unchecked in our lives, often leads to discouragement which can lead to depression and ultimately despair– the complete loss of all hope.”

So, you may be saying to yourself “What’s the point you’re trying to make Radhika?” Well. My point is this. We must learn how to rethink disappointment. The enemy of our soul wants us to stay stuck in disappointment so we can downward spiral into despair and lose all hope in God’s good plans and promises for our lives.


Disappointment as a Divine Tool

But when we can learn to see disappointment from God’s perspective, we will experience renewed hope, joy, passion and purpose. I hope these little statements will serve as a loving reminder to you that:

God uses our disappointment as a tool for directing our steps because he truly delights in every detail of our lives. And though we may stumble during these times, we will never fall because the Lord holds us by the hand (Ps. 37:23-25).



  • Punishment. It’s Positioning.
  • Destiny Denied. It’s Destiny in Progress.
  • Divine Disregard. It’s Divine Direction.


The Gifts of Disappointment

Often times, we see disappointment as something negative such as a set back. But in reality, it’s a divine set up. You see, there’s a divine appointment waiting to be met in your DISappointment. When we can learn to see our disappointments as divinely orchestrated or allowed, we can then see them as an opportunity to receive God’s love, grace, provision, and peace. It’s also an opportunity for us to draw closer to God so he can draw close to us.


Disappointment, if we choose to see it this way—is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves–our perspectives, our beliefs, and our expectations. It’s a great opportunity for us to discover what and/or who we’ve been placing our hope and joy in. Disappointment can also serve as a reminder for us to live in the present moment rather than in the past. Disappointment is

An opportunity to shift our thoughts from “woe is me” to “God’s got me” and from “this is a mess” to “this is a divine message.”


Disappointment is an opportunity to remember:

  • The One who is able to exceed what you can ever imagine (Eph. 3:20)
  • The One who causes all things to work together for our good (Rom. 8:28)
  • The One who directs all our steps (Ps. 37:23)
  • The One who delights in every detail of our lives (Ps. 37:23)
  • The One who promises us a good future (Jer. 29:11)
  • The One who promises to fulfill His purpose for our lives (Ps. 138:8)
  • The One who is the author and finisher of your faith (Heb. 12:2)
  • God’s ways are not our ways and our plans are not always His plans (Is. 55:8)
  • Where we need to be placing our hope and trust in (Prov. 3:5)
  • God’s timing and ways are always good and perfect (Rom. 12:2


So the next time you experience the feeling of disappointment, I hope you will reframe it and see it as a tool God wants to use to cause ALL things to work together for your good. It may not feel like it right now but it’s a promise on which you can depend.

Know that placing your hope in God and not your desired outcomes “will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” (Romans 5:5 NLT)

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