fbpx
comparison

Comparison. The thief of joy, gratitude and self-acceptance.

Comparison is a trap. It’s a never-ending measuring stick. It deceives you into thinking you’re behind, inadequate, deficient and inferior to someone else. It causes you to overlook your own giftedness and greatness, value and worth. It causes you to focus on what you lack rather then what you have.

 

Often times, we compare our personality, position, profession, possessions, popularity, power and performance to that of those around us. We compare our appearance/bodies, families, spouses, children, talents, gifts and socioeconomic status too. And oftentimes we find ourselves stuck in disappointment and discouragement when we compare our successes and achievements (or lack thereof) to the highlight reels and success stories of those we see and follow on social media.

 

We compare the number of likes, comments and follows we receive on social media to that of those we admire, desire to be like or look like. But here’s the thing.

 

Comparison is self-focused and people-focused rather than God-focused. If God wanted you to have the gifts, talents, body, appearance, and personality of someone else you admire, he would’ve given it to you. But when He made you, he said you were “good”. Period.

 

Often times we struggle with comparing ourselves to others because we haven’t learned to accept our selves as we are. Fully loved. Fully accepted. Fully belonging. And Fully embraced by God. When we fail to remember whose image we bear, we will constantly chase after counterfeit images in our culture of— which never satisfy our deepest need and longing for unconditional love, acceptance, belonging and worth.

 

Comparison Confines You

When we measure or compare ourselves to others around us, we‘ll always stay stuck in disappointment, discontent, discouragement, depression and wrestle with thoughts of deficiency and feelings of despair. We will always find ourselves coming up short in some area. Honestly, I think comparison comes down to unchecked disappointment in God.

 

We somehow think he missed the mark when he made us. We think he short-changed us. Left some things out. We think He’s somehow been unkind to us because he chose not to give us (x, y, and z) like so and so or make us more like so and so. Now, of course, we’d never say these things out loud to God. But if we’re really gonna be truthful and transparent, this is a core belief many of us have. It’s a hard thing to acknowledge. But it’s often so true.

Comparision as Self-Hatred

I think comparison is also a form of self-hatred because we find it hard to love and accept ourselves as we are. It’s like we just don’t want to celebrate the way God made us. And we can’t seem to enjoy and appreciate the life he’s graciously gifted us because we’re so focused on what we perceive is lacking, inadequate or ‘wrong’ about us.

 

If we truly believe we are fearfully and wonderfully made; if we truly believe we are who we are and we have what we have because of God’s grace–and if we believe God wants us to ONLY measure ourselves according to His righteousness (or the right way of living and being), then we would STOP the comparing.

Comparision as Egocentrism/Narcissism

But y’all. If you want my honest opinion on this whole issue of social comparison–here’s a big take away you may not want to hear.

 

Constantly comparing yourself to others is a form of EGOCENTRISM or narcissism because it focuses on SELF. Your own interests. Your own concerns. Your own wants, needs, desires and happiness. This is the HUGE trap of comparision.

Comparision keeps you fixated on yourself. You focus on what you think you lack, where you think you’ve come up short and what you wish you had so much that you can’t even focus on all that’s good and right in your world.

 

In Romans 12:2, we are encouraged to let God transform us into a new person by changing the way we think. When we invite God to transform the way feel about ourselves, see ourselves and think about ourselves, we will learn how to see things from God’s perspective.

Comparision as a Scarcity Mindset

Comparison truly is the thief of joy, gratitude, and self-acceptance. Truth be told, people who are comparison focused have a scarcity mindset because their minds are constantly being flooded with thoughts like:
  • I’m not ______enough
  • I don’t have enough ______
  • I’ll never be _______ enough
  • I just don’t measure up

 

But the reality is God has given each of us different gifts, talents, and abilities according to a specific measure of grace (Romans 12:6). The same goes for the type of life we have. When you catch yourself in a cycle of comparison again, I want you to think about this following scripture.

On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers [arrogantly] back to God and dares to defy Him? Will the thing which is formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?” 21Does the potter not have the right over the clay, to make from the same lump [of clay] one object for honorable use [something beautiful or distinctive] and another for common use [something ordinary or menial]? (Romans 9:20-21, AMP). 

Curing Comparison

So. Who are we to question why God made us the way we are? And who are we to question the path, plan, and purposes of God for our lives? I really believe we can become free of comparison by doing these simple things:

Be God-Focused

  • Recognize all God has graciously given you and deposited in you. Count your blessings. Daily.

Be Grateful:

  • Express gratitude for God’s goodness in your life. Celebrate His provision and the gifts in your life.

Be Content:

  • Accept who you are, where you are, and what you have (Matthew 5:5, MSG). Command yourself to be satisfied in Christ because godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6-11, NIV).A few other ways to communicate this thought is this.

 

“A devout life does bring wealth, but it’s the rich simplicity of being yourself before God that leads to the greatest gains in life” (1 Tim. 6:6, MSG)

 

“But godliness is actually a source of great gain when accompanied by contentment (that contentment which comes only from a sense of inner confidence based on the sufficiency of God).”

My prayer is that you’ll discover your value, significance and worth in Christ because in Him–you are ENOUGH. And my prayer is that you will learn how to increase your confidence based on the sufficiency and adequacy of God–and God alone. The cure for comparision is actually quite simple. Cultivate your God-confidence and you’ll have all the God-confidence you need to be you—authentically and unapologetically. xoxo

You may also like

Let me know how this has impacted you ...