Comparison is the thief of joy and self-acceptance.
Often times, we compare our personality, position, profession, possessions, popularity, power and performance to that of those around us. We compare our appearance/bodies, families, spouses, children, talents, gifts and socioeconomic status too. And oftentimes we find ourselves stuck in disappointment and discouragement when we compare our successes and achievements (or lack thereof) to the highlight reels and success stories of those we see and follow on social media.
We compare the number of likes, comments and follows we receive on social media to that of those we admire, desire to be like or look like. But here’s the thing. Comparison is self-focused and people-focused rather than God-focused. If God wanted you to have the gifts, talents, body, appearance, or personality of someone else, he would’ve given that to you. But when He made you, he said you were “good”. Period.
Comparison Confines You
Honestly, I think comparison comes down to unchecked disappointment in God.
We somehow think He missed the mark when he made us. We think he short-changed us. Left some things out. We think He’s somehow been unkind to us because he chose not to give us (x, y, and z) like so and so or make us more like so and so. Now, of course, we’d never say these things out loud to God. But if we’re really gonna be truthful and transparent, this is a core belief many of us have. It’s a hard thing to acknowledge. But it’s often so true.
Comparison as Self-Hatred
Comparison as Egocentrism/Narcissism
Constantly comparing yourself to others is a form of EGOCENTRISM or narcissism because it focuses on SELF. Your own interests. Your own concerns. Your own wants, needs, desires and happiness. This is the HUGE trap of comparision.
In Romans 12:2, we are encouraged to let God transform us into a new person by changing the way we think. When we invite God to transform the way feel about ourselves, see ourselves and think about ourselves, we will learn how to see things from God’s perspective.
Comparison as a Scarcity Mindset
- I’m not ______enough
- I don’t have enough ______
- I’ll never be _______ enough
- I just don’t measure up to ______
But the reality is God has given each of us different gifts, talents, and abilities according to a specific measure of grace (Romans 12:6). The same goes for the type of life we have. When you catch yourself in a cycle of comparison again, I want you to think about this following scripture.
On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers [arrogantly] back to God and dares to defy Him? Will the thing which is formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?” 21Does the potter not have the right over the clay, to make from the same lump [of clay] one object for honorable use [something beautiful or distinctive] and another for common use [something ordinary or menial]? (Romans 9:20-21, AMP).
- Recognize all God has graciously given you and deposited in you. Count your blessings. Daily.
- Express gratitude for God’s goodness in your life. Celebrate His provision and gifts in your life.
- Accept who you are, where you are, and what you have (Matthew 5:5, MSG). Command yourself to be satisfied in Christ because godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6-11, NIV). A few other ways to communicate this thought is this.
“A devout life does bring wealth, but it’s the rich simplicity of being yourself before God that leads to the greatest gains in life” (1 Tim. 6:6, MSG)
“But godliness is actually a source of great gain when accompanied by contentment (that contentment which comes only from a sense of inner confidence based on the sufficiency of God).”
My prayer is that you’ll discover your value, significance, and worth in Christ because in Him–you are ENOUGH. And my prayer is that you will learn how to increase your confidence based on the sufficiency and adequacy of God–and God alone. The cure for comparison is actually quite simple. Cultivate your God-confidence and you’ll have all the confidence you need to be you—authentically and unapologetically. xoxo