Comparison is the thief of joy and self-acceptance.

Comparison. It’s the thief of joy and self-acceptance. It’s a never-ending measuring stick. It deceives you into thinking you’re behind, inadequate, deficient and inferior to someone else. It causes you to overlook your own giftedness and greatness, value and worth. It causes you to focus on what you lack rather then what you have.

 

Often times, we compare our personality, position, profession, possessions, popularity, power and performance to that of those around us. We compare our appearance/bodies, families, spouses, children, talents, gifts and socioeconomic status too. And oftentimes we find ourselves stuck in disappointment and discouragement when we compare our successes and achievements (or lack thereof) to the highlight reels and success stories of those we see and follow on social media.

 

We compare the number of likes, comments and follows we receive on social media to that of those we admire, desire to be like or look like. But here’s the thing. Comparison is self-focused and people-focused rather than God-focused. If God wanted you to have the gifts, talents, body, appearance, or personality of someone else, he would’ve given that to you. But when He made you, he said you were “good”. Period.

 

Often times we struggle with comparing ourselves to others because we haven’t learned to accept ourselves as we are. Fully loved. Fully accepted. Fully belonging. And Fully embraced by God. When we fail to remember whose image we bear, we will constantly chase after counterfeit images in our culture— which can never satisfy our deepest needs and longings for unconditional love, acceptance, belonging and worth.

Honestly, I think comparison comes down to unchecked disappointment in God.

I think comparison is also a form of self-hatred because we find it hard to love and accept ourselves as we are. It’s like we just don’t want to celebrate the way God made us. And we can’t seem to enjoy and appreciate the life he’s graciously gifted us because we’re so focused on what we perceive is lacking, inadequate or ‘wrong’ about us.

 

If we truly believe we are fearfully and wonderfully made; if we truly believe we are who we are and we have what we have because of God’s grace–and if we believe God wants us to ONLY measure ourselves according to His righteousness (or the right way of living and being), then we would STOP the comparing.

But y’all. If you want my honest opinion on this whole issue of social comparison–here’s a big take away you may not want to hear.

Comparison keeps you fixated on yourself. You focus on what you think you lack, where you think you’ve come up short and what you wish you had so much, that you can’t even focus on all that’s good and right in your world.

 

In Romans 12:2, we are encouraged to let God transform us into a new person by changing the way we think. When we invite God to transform the way feel about ourselves, see ourselves and think about ourselves, we will learn how to see things from God’s perspective.

Comparison truly is the thief of joy, gratitude, and self-acceptance. Truth be told, people who are comparison focused have a scarcity mindset because their minds are constantly being flooded with thoughts like:

 

But the reality is God has given each of us different gifts, talents, and abilities according to a specific measure of grace (Romans 12:6). The same goes for the type of life we have. When you catch yourself in a cycle of comparison again, I want you to think about this following scripture.

On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers [arrogantly] back to God and dares to defy Him? Will the thing which is formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?” 21Does the potter not have the right over the clay, to make from the same lump [of clay] one object for honorable use [something beautiful or distinctive] and another for common use [something ordinary or menial]? (Romans 9:20-21, AMP). 

So. Who are we to question why God made us the way we are? And who are we to question the path, plan, and purposes of God for our lives? I really believe we can become free of comparison by doing a few simple things: